From September 2011 to 2015

Its been three long years together...

January 19th..2 years ago..thats when I started to write this a post here...

Just looking back at the times we spend together..

I don't really know what do you really mean we have nothing..

You went back with nothing..but RM50...i really don't understand...

We have something so special created together...

No one has it other than us..yes..as i am typing here I am crying as well..

I could not believe everything that we created together from nothing...

Is me that has nothing left...nothing...

Back in Kampar..everywhere I go..

I imagine that you are with me...

No matter how much I hate your attitude at times..

I just could not stop my heart from thinking of you and missing you..

I really wonder what has really turned in to..

I really can't get out from my sadness and suffering here..

You may be away..even your feelings faded completely..

I can't..I am just a human..

A simple dinner..thinking of where to eat..

I think of you all the time..I really can't stop...

Lunch,,eat Indian people..not Indian food..

Dinner? OMG..i really can't think of anything but to eat with you..

On the last day you said I did not make any efforts to be back in Kampar..

Do you really know what had happened to me then and even now?

Doctor told me not to take in so much stress..

When I was in Penang, my brain was overstressed that I fainted..blackout..

After that, I sleep up to 14 hours..besides eat and toilet..I sleep..

HOW COULD YOU JUST SAY THAT I DON'T CARE??

HOW COULD YOU BE SO SELFISH AND NOT TO THINK OF ME???

Fine...I wouldn't want to mentioned and count with you on that...

What I want to tell you, is you can never feel how much pain I take in on the day you leave me..

You have no idea at all on how much pain I suffered..just no idea...

What you suffered was perhaps just a scratch compared to mine...

As some says, you would do just anything for love...

I did..I did..I really really did...do I regret? No..

I simply did not and will not regret what I did or did not do..

Do you know why? Cause I had already gave you all my love that I could give...

I am sincerely telling you this over here...when I simply look back...

Yes, I did...perhaps you always said that I am lazy...I admit..I was..We were?

I just do not understand why would relationships should judge and screw each other...

Shouldn't the couple come together and hold each others hands and say:

"Lets do this together, side by side..hand in hand..heart in heart.."

Shouldn't they? Why should it be always quarreling and yelling?

Why our love had became like that? Has you lost all of your patience?

The moment you called me, mother's boy..

I knew, you were just jealous cause at that moment your mum wasn't with you...

but now look back at yourself, when your mum is with you...

you listen to everything she says right? Won't even speak back..right?

Don't you think you are being unfair? Before you think of arguing, think properly first...

Whenever I make a point, I do make it clear and fact...I do not use emotions...

I really don't know...

Love based on money...no money no love...

Dont you think its the same with..no money no honey?

Sigh...I understand your view...your thinking..

But one question I want to ask...

If there are no struggles and obstacles in a couple...

How can they stand the test of time?

When asked, what experiences with your partner? How was life?

I would be happy if there are times when we were bad...

We tried and tried and tried till we made it...

Won't we feel proud? Compared to those who got nothing to tell...

Its alright...you have your views and I respect them clearly...

Lastly, you told me theres nothing I feel? I don't feel pain?

You really got no idea of how i am feeling...

TOTALLY NO IDEA..cause you stopped loving me and understanding me...

This is a bitter truth that I knew before you even leave Kampar...

Most of your love had already faded away...

Perhaps one day when you come back to the point when you remembered why we got together and why we love each other, you find back our love...

Right now, you got nothing of that...not even a little bit...

Sigh.....lets just hope that one day we will be meeting back at square one when the time we started our relationship and loving each other again...

I do not believe in fate...cause i believe we create our own fate...

Not that the fate control or creates us..its all about chances and choices...

Making the best choices in life that is...

I am very sure you have plenty and much to learn from that...

A shattered heart...hoping for one day of redemption away from pain...

To be loved again...